WHATEVER lets just say how disappointed I was to find out this game was not about turning your opponents meeples into carcasses. Instead, there was an awful lot of road building and cloistering. If cloistering isn't a euphemism for a dirty word, it really should be.
In many ways, the basic "world building" premise was similar to what we experienced with Betrayal at House on the Hill, except the odds of being chased by cannibals is a lot lower in Carcassonne. Also, you don't really interact with the world you build, the building itself is the game. Like SimCity without disasters, policemen, computers, cheat codes, basically nothing like SimCity. You grab a tile, throw it on the table as long as the roads / buildings connect with each other in a logical manner, and by the end of the game you collectively become the shittiest city planner in all of ancient france. Whenever you drop a tile, you have the option to throw one of your wooden dudes on the tile, either on the road, the city thing, or in the grass. Dudes thrown onto the grass are now farmers, which is offensively denoted by laying them down.
Have you heard of the new expansion, where all the meeples are replaced with dog-meeples? It's called "Barkassonne."
You are limited in the number of meeples you can throw down, so it benefits you to wrap up whatever structure you're working on, so you can regrab your meeple and score those yummy victory points. Otherwise, your meeple gets stuck in this purgatory, whereby they can no longer earn any mo' points. This was a strategic concept I didn't fully learn until, i dunno, never.
Have you heard of the new expansion, where you can only play at night? It's called "Darkassonne."
Of all the games we have played in our journey into modern board games, this one by far had the greatest number of fluffy sheep and somehwat-above-average-sized trees. Because of this, we found the game really peaceful and relaxing - clearly we didn't understand the finer points of how to fuck your fellow players. Looking back on it, there were many moments where understanding the configurations of the tiles remaining would give one of us a huge advantage. Building useless paths and dead ends could block off another person from finishing a structure, therefore turning their already-placed meeple into a uselesseeple, unable to return to the hand to score more points. I imagine there is a high skill cap to this game, making it a highly competitive game. Once you know all of the tiles and how many of them are in play at any time, you can use this nollij to build offensively, preventing others from finishing their castles. Now ain't that some evil-ass shit.
Have you heard of the new expansion, where all the meeples are named "Mark"? It's called "Why the Fuck would Meeples have Namesassonne"
Hilariously, we all tried to play Carcassonne online later against each other, but turns out Carcassonne Castle is not the same game. Like, at all. First of all, you're blocked in by some dumb walls. The fun part about Carcassonne was the freedom to expand our countryside into some awful sprawl of a city full of incomplete buildings ala EVERY SUBURB IN TEXAS EVER. You can only play 1v1, which is equal parts lame and wack. And no fluffy sheep, so fuck that version.
Stuff that was cool:
You kept track of score by moving a tracker around the board, but at the end, a whole poop-ton of extra points get distributed among the players based on resolving unfinished buildings and the farmers. There is a way to see who is currently ahead, but at the very end, there's this tense moment when you add up the score from the meeples who are still hanging around on your awful shaped countryside, and then tack these points onto your score.
SURPRISE BITCH suddenly - you're not the winner anymore. It's got a very blue shell-Mario Kart feel to it. When you're losing, you do desperate things to try to score. Having a "hidden" score counter (which technically isn't hidden, you just gotta be REALLY good at counting.) makes gameplay interesting to me, since those desperate strategies might not ever come out.
To me this game is like your best friend from summer camp. It's cool to see it randomly, because at one point it was the dope hotness. Buuuut you really don't need to see it more than once. LOL SORRY FANBROS COME AT ME BROS.
Can someone send me a casual picture of Tony Stakassonne walking through a city parkassonne?
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